they would speak a thousand things

Poetry

Awake [Based on Isaiah 52:1-2]

 

Awake Awake O Captive Daughter

You have been loosed from your chains

Awake Awake He is waiting

To clothe you with strength and beauty

 

Awake and arise – you are free

Rise up – open your eyes

You are made clean

He’s restored you to life

Once bound – now redeemed

He paid the price

Arise – you are free!

 

Awake Awake O Beloved Daughter

Shake off the dust from your past

Awake Awake He is calling

Come be washed and made new

Awake and arise – you are free

Rise up – open your eyes

You are made clean

He’s restore you to life

Once bound – now redeemed

He paid the price

Arise – you are free!

 

 

You shall not be disgraced or ashamed

For you have power over your enemy

Your Savior has made you pure

Your soul can rest – His love is sure

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Awake Awake O Precious Daughter

Live as you were created to be

O Princess of the King

Awake and Arise

Step into your Destiny.


Betrayal – an acrostic poem

His heartbeat

Been friends a very long time, but

Even that didn’t stop your crime

Trust broken into nothingness

Reeling from the shamefulness of

All your rejection that leads to my pain

You lied and placed on me the blame

And turning to comfort in a knife, I take my

Life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was betrayed just like me

Every one of His friends left Him to die, but

Already He has paid the cost.

Remembering His sacrifice and

Trusting in Him is my only lifeline. My

Beating heart I have because of Christ, so

Even when all seems lost, I know

After He has cast my burdens far behind

The King stands in redeeming victory.


Her Story

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HER STORY is of bondage

a girl buried in her shame

no happy ending when you turn the page

the ink runs red with stains.

 

HER STORY is a lonely one

staring at the blades calling out

knowing soon the blood will come

too many tears to count.

 

a picture paints a thousand words

her scene is dull and grey

streams of blood flow from her arms

each day is more of the same

knowing only she is to blame

will she ever be whole

she asks, will my life ever change?

 

in HER STORY she dreams of HOPE

a life she never conceived

but pain overwhelms ‘til she can’t cope

falling to her knees begging please – help!

 

a picture paints a thousand words

her scene was dull and grey

streams of tears flow from her eyes

release from the pain of past years

she learned that she could never pay

the price required – He died in her place

now He writes HER STORY by His GRACE

 

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Do you like this post? Do you have a story to tell? Leave me a comment and tell me your story! I would love to hear!!

what’s her story?

 


Cling

When you are brokenhearted

When you are ashamed

When you’re hanging by a thread

When you are completely broken

Cling to Christ

 

He is solid to the core

I am dependent more and more

I am broken like the least of these

But He is ever faithful for me

I cling to Christ

 

When there are problems all around

When you are deep in distress

When you’re dying to be found

When you’re without a hope for life

Cling to Christ

 

He is solid to the core

I am dependent more and more

I am broken like the least of these

But He is ever faithful for me

I cling to Christ

 

Cling to Him and you will see

His love will set you free

From all the hurts you’ve ever known

Cling to Christ

He will wrap his arms around

You will feel his presence surround

Be amazed at his grace for you

As you cling to Christ

He will never let go of you.


My Obsession

Watch and be utterly amazed

Wonder and be astounded

Marvel at the majesty

Rebel against the flood of lies

Become obsessed with the love of Christ

He is my obsession

As love invades my life

I can’t use any discretion

Tell the whole world of Him

Filled with intense passion

He is my obsession

Experiencing His presence – I’m dazed

It begins to blow my mind

Revel in His grace for me

Rebel against the flood of lies

Become obsessed with the love of Christ

He is my obsession

As love invades my life

I can’t use any discretion

Tell the whole world of Him

Filled with intense passion

He is my obsession

I’m obsessed

And I can’t control

I cannot rest

Overflowing with grace

Rebel against the flood of lies

Become obsessed with the love of Christ.


My Soul Despairs

 

I am confined within this prison

Of my desperate, tortured heart and mind

Been abandoned by everyone

I had trusted to be kind

 

My voice is without a song

All my hurt lingers on

Pain envelopes my very being

When everyone I loved is leaving

My soul despairs

How can I change when all I feel is numb?

 

I am held hostage inside myself

In need of a knight to come and save me

Because I cannot escape this life in Hell

Will I be able to give someone my story?

 

My voice is without a song

All my hurt lingers on

Pain envelopes my very being

When everyone I loved is leaving

My soul despairs

When will I live if my life is over and done?

 

They say time and distance change you

But all I have is a knife spilling my blood

Just need to hear the cut sing true

In my skin cause I have no love or past

Can’t stop when everything is fading fast

Do I even give a care?

My soul despairs


What is a SCAR?

How will you know I am hurting,
If you cannot see my pain?
To wear it on my body
Tells what words cannot explain.
–C. Blount (English deistic writer) [1654-1693]

Scars are the results of the natural healing processes of the body; which occurs when the body suffers and injury. The body’s defenses rush to save the injury, and as the injury heals, scars form. In fact, the skin does not heal exactly the same as it was before. Scar tissue is inferior to normal skin because scars are flat and lightly colored as a result of less access to blood, sweat glands are damaged or destroyed, hair doesn’t grow back there, and there is less resistance to ultraviolet radiation. Scars form as the result of injury to the dermis, a layer of skin that is deep and sensitive. Collagen fibers surge to the injury when damage to the dermis layer of the skin occurs.

“It’s not so much how deep a wound is that determines whether a scar will worm, but rather the location of the wound and that person’s genetic tendency to form scars” says Brian Flyer, a doctor from California. The type of scar that will form depends also on the person’s age, heredity, sex, nutrition, and of course the severity of the wound.

There are several types of scars:

1.      Hypertrophic: raised and often red lump on the skin, form when wound is under tension thereby raising the healing tissue; occurs when there is an overproduction of collagen.

2.      Keloidal: like hypertrophic but more serious because they can continue growing into a large neoplasm, spread beyond the boundaries of the original injury, raised hard growth that forms because some bodies rush in a lot of collagen to the injured site and the healing tissue is more than is required; can occur on anyone, but are more common in dark-skinned people.

3.      Atrophic: opposite of hypertrophic and keloidal, leaves depressions in the skin, these are sunken recesses in the skin which have a pitted appearance, caused when underlying structures such as fat or muscle are lost so they cannot support the skin; associated with acne, chickenpox, surgery, and accidents.

4.      Acne: pitting caused by the stretching of pores, aka atrophic

5.      Contracture: flat, tight scars that constrict movement, often caused by burns

6.      Stretch marks: caused when skins is stretched rapidly (such as during pregnancy) or put under tension during healing process (near joints); usually improves in appearance after a few years.

Scars can never be completely removed; there are supplements such as vitamin E and creams to help speed the healing process of scars, but they will never completely go away. There are surgeries available to remove scars but often the surgery will produce another scar and there is no guarantee the former scar will be less obvious. Topical treatments, radiotherapy, steroids, dermabrasion, laser resurfacing, and injections of collagen are other options to rid the body of scars. There are many methods to treat scars as well; however, even with all these methods, there is no way to absolutely remove a scar.

 


Your Mercy

In all my life

Never been so numb

Cannot see

What you have done

To save me

 

Your mercy explodes

Into my life

Now I see The brightest light

Of your love

Come to rescue me

From my strife.

 

From death I tried

So hard to end

But you were there to guide

My life and

Lead me by the hand

 

But your mercy explodes

Into my life

Now I see The brightest light

Of your love

Come to rescue me

From my strife.

 

Your mercy

It saves me

Now I can be free

From the chains

Around my hands and feet

So thankful

For your mercy.


BLACK and WHITE

 

 

 

 

 

 

When all is black

More likely he will attack

I need to bring more white

To combat Satan in this fight

Black and white

Is all I see

Your love so bright

Is darkened in me

Try as I might

I can’t escape

My arm is not right

With all this hate

Please hear my plight

It’s black and white!

When in the world myself I lack

I need Jesus to bring me back

From the dark into His light

Shine it through His glory so bright

Black and white

Is all I see

Your love so bright

Is darkened in me

Try as I might

I can’t escape

My arm is not right

With all this hate

Please hear my plight

It’s black and white!

Surrounded by the hate that runs

Deep inside my body

Can’t stop this destructive passion

His love is the only key

I need salvation

Hopelessly.


Emotional-Drained

 

What good is a heart

In pieces, shattered

Can’t make a new start

Unhealed it don’t matter

Put on a bandaid

And hope for a heart re-made

 

There is a reason

For the breaking of a heartache

A broken heart lasts so long

And that ripping feeling you can’t shake

Away the pain inside

More than emotional-drained

 

What good is a heart

In pieces, shattered

Can’t make a new start

Unhealed it don’t matter

Put on a bandaid

And hope for a heart re-made

 

There is a crime here

Committed against my organ

Dysfunctional, uncooperative pain

And that fight you know you won’t win

Take away the pain inside

More than emotional-drained.


Dead – *Caution – explicit material*

I wrote this poem as sort of an abstract description of my suicide attempt. This is what my soul thought on that night. Do not read this if you are prone to freak out. Please know these were my thoughts on that night, but not right now.

 

Empty Soul

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What emptiness there is in a creature

That puts a razor to her wrists

And opens her veins

The emptiness of an endless black hole

From which there is neither soul nor return

Only existence in the pain.

 

Nothingness

The color of death

Here to steal her breath

Lying on the bed

No more putting up a fight

Flat line is in sight

Dead.

 

What vastness there is in a monster

That writes on her arms with a blade

And mutilates her flesh

The vastness of endless pitch dark space

From whence there is neither air nor life

Only the deadness of an absent heartbeat.

 

Nothingness

The color of death

Here to steal her breath

Lying on the bed

No more putting up a fight

Flat line is in sight

Dead.


Prayer – 11/1/2010

~ A Prayer ~

I feel so abused

Ashamed and confused

I don’t know what to do

How to choose

 

I’m left wondering

How to heal my pain

Trying to find the right way

But I need your help, Lord

 

God, I need you, what do I do

Please, Lord, give me strength

I give my cares to you

My Great Protector, Father.

Father,

I come to you today. That’s it. I just come. I am not running anymore. I know I need you. I WANT you. And that is important. I miss you. I desire you. I wish I were more devoted to you. I am sorry. SO sorry, God. For all the terrible things I have done to your temple, my body. I have ruined it completely. I wish I could say I took care of my body but you know I haven’t. I tore it up. I hurt it, caused it pain – emotionally and physically – I ripped it open and cut open the seams. Today, I want to ask for your forgiveness for these sins. For my cutting. I do love you, you know. Quite a bit. God, I don’t want to run away from you anymore. I truly want to be able to fall in love with you again like I used to be!! Please help me to do that. Show me the way to love you the way you deserve to be loved – if I am even capable of doing that. Teach me how to love.

~Leanne

 


This Hell

There is a girl

Who just wants to be heard

She is screaming out

But no one can hear her now

Because she’s drowning

In shame and craving

 

The lust of blood

And the loss of love

Chains herself to a knife

Her scars that remain open

Tell her that she is broken

The crimson blood

That is spilled tonight

Plots to steal her life

She can’t escape this hell

 

There is a girl

Who just wants to be seen

She is bleeding now

But no one can see her crashing down

Because she’s invisible

In this room full of friends

 

The lust of blood

And the loss of love

Chains herself to a knife

Her scars that remain open

Tell her that she is broken

The crimson blood

That is spilled tonight

Plots to steal her life

She can’t escape this hell

 

You see her through the pain

Pull her out of this tragedy

Take her hand to keep her sane

Complete her story.


Bleeding (No Escape) *Caution – explicit material*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Empty room

The light has gone from her eyes

A new spring bloom

Turns gray in her sight

She sees red, black, and white

Tunes out the sound of life

Drops of blood she always cries

Expected relief never arrives

She has no strength to keep her life

 

Her world has no meaning

Her arms are bleeding

Now she is screaming

Her arms are bleeding

Wish she was dreaming

All hope is leaving

 

Vacancy here

No one sees how hard she tries

Just to disappear

To drive the pain away tonight

Nothing about it is right

Only crimson runs through her mind

Knife cuts deep into her life

Expected relief never arrives

She has no strength to keep her life

 

Her world has no meaning

Her arms are bleeding

Now she is screaming

Her arms are bleeding

Wish she was dreaming

All hope is leaving

 

But anger controls

She cannot win this fight

Her scars the signs of her fate

Spelling out her hate

The blood she craves

I can’t escape.


Crashing Down

You know what it’s like to live a lie?

The surround like flies

Gathering to death and decay

 

Crashing down

The world around me

We’re falling out

In this hatred I see

Crashing down

It won’t work out

We’re crashing down

Marvellously

 

You know what it’s like to want to die?

Spend the day crying

Crying out for someone to save me…

COME SAVE ME!!

 

Crashing down

The world around me

We’re falling out

In this hatred I see

Crashing down

It won’t work out

We’re crashing down

Marvellously


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